Its been awhile since I posted on here but thats obviously because things have been super busy. I just got back in from a rather quick trip to Upstate NY to visit everyone and to help kick off the Gay Pride in Albany by hosting WATERSTOCK at Waterworks Pub, featuring the areas best drag queens and the amazing Lady Bunny. The show was a huge success and alot of fun to do. A good friend of mine and a killer drag queen Penny Larceny was retiring and it was her last show, so of course her and I pulled out all the stops and rocked the house with a huge opener that I dont think people were expected.
Going home for me is always an interesting expierence. I am so incredibly happy to see everyone and by the time Im leaving I am pratically ready to be diagnosed with depression and put on Zoloft. I really feel something amazing when I am around my friends in NY. Its just so comfortable like nothing is expected of me, I can just be whatever and its all the same to them. I love them for that. I cant really tell them enough how much they mean to me, the ones know who they are.
I did realize though that I apparently have to stop trying with some friends. I try my best to keep in touch with everyone as much as I can being 3000 miles away but somehow even when I am a half hour away or in the same city, still I get nothing from some people. I call, they dont call me back. I try my best to see them and no one makes an equal attempt. So to all of you that honestly can say to me you miss me or you cant wait to see me, where were you? I was home for only a few days and I called or you knew I was in town, did my phone ring with a callback or a call in general…NO! Its quite sad when you have to beg people to call you back, I love you all but Ive had enough of trying to please everyone. I am only one person, so if you expect for me to continue to value our friendships, put forth just a little bit more effort so I can feel its worth it. Im done with going out of my way for people who wouldnt or wont do the same for me.
I was told I was conceited. ME! Okay, so maybe yes I talk about myself alot with people, but thats ONLY because of the following reasons:
1. How do you expect to hold a conversation whether in person or over the phone if the conversation begins with me asking you how things are and you say … ok…and thats it, logically I will try to make conversation with you by talking about things going on with me, its called conversation last time I checked, isnt that how it works people. If you arent talking, thats your lose, Im here to listen, to be your shoulder or whatever, so fuckin speak up.
2. I have alot to be proud of and since I may not see you all the time, I have to inform you of whats going on, if you were a friend you would be welcoming of the conversation and wouldnt consider mylife VS. your life a fuckin competition, Im not telling you the things I tell you to rub them in your face, your my friend, Im just as interested in hearing about what you fuckin ate for dinner or whatever you did over the past weekend as you are about whatever Im doing, or so I thought.
Life is to short for bullshit people, get over yourself so you can move on and enjoy the good shit in life. If your not happy where you are or with what your doing…then fuckin do something about it. Enough sugarcoating the bullshit and do what you want to do no matter what it is. Your friends and family, if they are real, will love you no matter what, they arent going anywhere…
Take it from me I know…
From my shoulder to yours…Lets be friends :O)
Till next time…MUAH!